My Yoga Journey

I hope this blog post helps you to get to know me and why I love yoga. Overall, its a story of devotion to a practice during the peaks and valleys of life. 

Trigger warning 

This blog includes references to cancer and mental ill health. If you are sensitive to such topics please read at your own discretion. 

First Practice

My first yoga practice was on a Teenage Cancer Trust ward when I was 18 years old. I had been diagnosed with Leukemia and admitted to the ward for six weeks to start chemotherapy. 

One morning, pretty bored, I thought I finally had the time to try out that ‘yoga-thing’ I had heard about. It’s meant to be good for your health- maybe this was the perfect time to start. 

I found a random Youtube video and try and few shapes. I remember falling out of a warrior II to cresent lunge transition onto my rather bony hip and deciding it was time to stop. 

A doctor on the ward heard of my antics and suggested giving yoga a miss as falls were definitely not good for me with such a low platelet count. 

He was right regarding my risk of bleeding but I doubt that doctor had ever practiced yoga, because if he had he would have suggested the wide range of practices I could have safely tried. 

Oh well, I didn’t really feel any of those magic benefits I had heard so much about from my 10 minutes of movement. I added to the list of things I could try again when I wasn’t unwell.

My hen do

The True Start of my Journey

Fast forward a few miserable months of relationship breakdowns, endless hospital admissions, vomiting and hair loss, I was at an all time low. Physically I was too thin and weak. I struggled to stand at times. I’d started to experience my first ever panic attacks. There was still a long road of chemotherapy ahead of me. 

My mum bumped into a woman on a walk who asked how I was. Mum decided to be honest and when she had finished speaking the woman, Anne, told my mum she was a yoga teacher. She suggested I came to see her and she could try and help me. 

I started to go, once a week, to see Anne. Anne was a woman in her 60’s, she was slightly stern but always gentle with me. She was lithe and very flexible. She would listen to my ailments or worries and then take me into a room at the back of her house where we would practice yoga. She taught me to breathe as a yogi, she introduced me to yoga nidra, meditation and relaxation. She helped me move my body through new shapes focused on my joints, my tight hamstrings and my pain. I started to practice every day at home with the worksheets Anne gave me. 

Anne told me it had “taken 18 years to get into this mess and it might take me 18 years to get out”. I found this oddly comforting, she had taken the pressure off doing yoga perfectly.  

I stopped practicing with Anne when I went to university but yoga was part of my life now. I had found Bad Yogi on Youtube and would do her 10 minutues daily challenges. I was builiding confidence in my knowledge of different shapes. 

Yoga Retreat in 2022

Ongoing practice

I am amazed yoga remained important to me during the following years. I joined the yoga society at university and I found local classes. I kept up a near daily home practice. 

I started to expand my knowledge of different types of yoga, attending classes in ashtanga, vinyasa, yin, restorative and hot yoga. I was learning about yoga philosophy including Pantajlias Eight limbs of Yoga. This philosophy aligned with my values and provided ideas I was benefitting from. I remember the revelation of including ahimsa in my practices. 

Online Yoga 

Whilst I enjoyed class practices I was very self conscious and often found myself distracted by other students in the class. I therefore relied heavily on online yoga at home. I was finding shorter classes a bit repetitive and then came across a teacher called Cat Meffan. I loved her power flows, creative vinyasa and inclusion of yoga philosophy. I joined her membership and continued to practice with her. 

Learning to headstand

Yoga supporting my mental health 

During university challenges of the past caught up with me and the depression, anxiety and PTSD that had been shadowing me for years since I was 18 could not be ignored anymore. I started therapy again and antidepressants. Running, socailising and my hobbies all fell away but yoga stayed. Some evenings my thoughts and feelings were so loud I would only find solace in the repetition of vinyasa. 

I started to learn more about philosopy and how relaxation could support me. I started to stop trying to achieve more in my psyshical asana and worked for something else. 

Medicine and Yoga

I graduated from my medical degree in a rush during the covid-19 pandemic and started working as a resident (previously junior) doctor. Yoga was still present, often in the morning to help centre me before retunring to the wards. 

I started to notice the slow changes in my body from regular practice. When I started practicing my hands barely reached below my knees in a forward fold, downward dog was not a place of rest but tension and my upper body strength was lacking. The changes were gradual but there. I came to appreciate the slowness of the changes in a world where achievement and performance are at the forefront. 

I started to reflect on my increased connection with my body. Before cancer I never really thought of it except with embarrassment. During chemotherapy I felt like a floating head and body belonged to the doctors. Now I noticed when I had neglected movement for a few days, I found myself more reactive and tense, just unable to deal with life's challenges as well. The benefit of mindful movement, connecting with yourself and your body daily and accepting whatever that might be in those moments, was clear. 

Yoga Retreat

After my first rather stressful months as a doctor I decided I deserved a to do something I had dreamt of for years…go on a yoga retreat. 

I booked a retreat with Cat Meffan to Portgual, because of COVID-19 travel restrictions It was postponed until a few weeks before my wedding. 

I found the retreat an intense but wonderful experience. We practiced asana twice a day, journalled on the yoga sutras, practice breathwork, did workshops and experienced a sound bath. 

On retreat I met anothert yoga teacher called Caroline who was assisting. I loved her approach to teaching and the focus on living a yoga inspired life. For a few months after the retreat I joined her online membership which focused less on asana and more on meditation and philosphy. 

Heart opening flow before my wedding

Yoga Teacher Training Part 1

After the retreat I decided I wanted to start my yoga teacher training. Work was very difficult and I wanted to expand another area of my life which felt positive. I found Barefoot Body Training in Cambridge which specalised in embodied movement and trauma awareness. It felt like an amazing fit for my personal and professional experiences. 

After an interview I enrolled on their 200 hour programme in January 2023. To my delight I was also pregnant with my son. Unfortunantely, pregnancy was not the beautiful experience I had hoped for and after a few months of full time work and weekends once a month on yoga training I decided to pause until after my son was born. 

Pregnancy and Yoga 

I know a lot of women find yoga during pregnancy or have wonderful experiences of prenatal yoga. To my surprise I was not one of them. My practice slowly dwindled, giving way to vomiting and exhaustion. When I did step on the mat I found myself not enjoying the practice at all. I even cancelled my online yoga subscriptions. 

It was not until the end of my pregnancy, when I stopped working, that yoga came back into my life. Feeling very anxious about birth I started meditating four times a day and enjoyed some flows for inducing labour. I found a love of the practice again as it helped me feel calm and centred ready for my sons arrival. 

Teacher Training Part 2

My maternity is a pretty blurry memory due to sleep deprivation and I know my time on the mat was intermittent. I did continue a mediatation practice particuarly when I was setttling my son to sleep. 

I stayed in touch with my teacher training completeing online components and written assessments ready to return the following year and complete. 

I graduated in December 2026, 3 years and one two-year-old after I had intended. By the end of the training I was reminded of all this practice has to offer and committed to my ongoing exploration of it through body, mind and soul. 

Moving forward

I feel honoured to introduce people in our local area to yoga or support their ongoing practice. Yoga has been part of my life for 14 years and I know, through all the ups and downs, it will always be there for me. I am grateful to the teachers who have come before me and allowed me to share this practice with you.